Ashlee Simpson Abused as a Child

Well, maybe not, but she did have to deal with her parents' wrath after uttering the "B" word (that's Bitch, by the way). According to The Post Chronicle Ashlee Simpson's parents literally washed her mouth out with soap after hearing her use the offending word.

I said a bad word once, and I actually did get my mouth washed out with soap. I know, you sometimes hear about that, but it actually happened to me.

Hmm, so maybe that explains things. I guess she probably swallowed some of the soap, which would explain her brain damage. It would also explain her satisfaction after leaving this hair salon, with can only ne described as a less-than-flattering cut. It all makes sense now.

Ashlee Simpson Looks Really Weird

Um, I don't know exactly what happened to Ashlee Simpson, but she looks really, really weird. It's not an obvious weird (or maybe it is), but she doesn't seem to look like she normally does. It actually looks like she's had massive facial reconstructive surgery, and they got it almost right. But something is definitely off.

First off, her tanning lotion has made her skin look completely orange and ridiculous. Especially in contrast to her bleach blonde hair extensions. Then there's her lips. Can anyone say collagen!? Her upper lip is huge. She either had collagen injections, or she got punched in the face by her manager dad for using too much self-tanner lotion. But what makes me think she was in some kind of horrible accident, and recontructed like the Cyborg on Smallville last night is her feet. Check out the closeup of her feet after the jump, but beware! It's not a pretty sight.

For a comparison, check out the pictures of Ashlee Simpon and her mean manager dad, after the jump. You'll see. No ugly orange skin, and much thinner lips.

Reader Observation Update: A few readers have written in saying that everything from Ashlee's nose to her chin also look different. I don't know exactly what the deal is, but as I said before, the girl looks weird. The comments section is now open. Let me know what you think of Ashlee Simpson's new look after the jump.